


Her

by ArtsyFartsyBro



Category: OCs - Fandom
Genre: Abandonment, F/M, One way feelings, Other, heart ache
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-13
Updated: 2017-05-13
Packaged: 2018-10-31 10:59:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10897953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArtsyFartsyBro/pseuds/ArtsyFartsyBro
Summary: A self indulgent fic to fill my need for heartache.





	Her

Recently, there had been some changes. First and most obviously, Maxim’s communication with William had lessened significantly and instead of having not seen one another for three to four weeks, William hadn’t gotten to see Maxim in almost three full months. This wouldn’t be a problem except, since Maxim had been there for him that night he needed it most nearly a year ago, William’s begun to develop feelings. Strong feelings. He wouldn’t mind not seeing Maxim for so long if his friend would just text him. But, no. Maxim’s texts are few and far between and he’s nearly never available for video calls any more with his new job. 

One can imagine the excitement when Maxim calls and invites him over, finally. It’s no surprise, then, to see that William began packing immediately and flew into St. Petersburg on the first flight he could catch. He made his way quietly up the stairs of the apartment building and knocked on the door before letting himself in. His smile doesn’t waver when Maxim isn’t there to greet him because he’s soon walking out of the short hall into the main room.

“Maxim!” William greets with a smile, setting his things down and holding out his arms for a hug. Maxim smiles and makes his way to the door and he wraps his arms around William. Here, in this hug, was the happiest William had been in a while, naturally it ended too soon for his preference. It ended sooner than usual even.

Maxim and William sat on the couch talking, a smile stuck on Williams face even as his friend made none of his usual efforts to sit close despite how badly William was willing it to be. But thats when Maxim reveals why.

“I’ve been seeing this girl lately. She’s great. We have so much fun. We get pretty high and just hang out and.. some adult stuff.” Maxim chuckles, rubbing his beard. “I really like her.”

Williams heart feels like its been torn from his chest. Sure, Maxim didn’t say he was in love with the girl but he had been seeing her more than he’d been seeing him and it hurts. He didn’t think Maxim liked him but he had hope at least. But now, Maxim likes this girl and she likes the things Maxim likes which is saying a lot considering Maxim and William have no similar interests. Williams an artist and Maxim’s a junkie. Still, William smiles. “I’m so glad. What’s their name?” William inquires. 

“Everyone calls her Jackie. She’s great. She does roller derby and its actually really cool.” Maxim seems light up a little when talking about her. “We went camping last weekend to the cabin and had a great time.”

Oh. Wills heart felt another pang as it drops to his stomach. Camping was Maxim and Will’s thing. Not anymore, it seemed. It was harder for William to hold his smile and it wavered but he covered it by looking off. Maxim wasn’t looking at him when they talked anyway. 

“I’m glad,” he says, somehow managing to keep his voice steady. He was glad for Maxim, truthfully. He was happy he was happy and when you care about someone, their safety and happiness are all you can truly want for them. And Maxim was happy.

"So, what have you been up to?" Maxim inquires, looking to William finally who just shrugs. 

"Nothing nearly as exciting as you. Just work." He answered softly, looping a thumb under the hair tie on his wrist and running it along the elastic. Maxim's phone rings and he gets up after checking. 

"Hold in one sec, i have to take this," Maxim says and walks off while answering. William lets his smile fall now that Maxim was gone and he tries to distract himself with his surroundings. The apartment looks the same for the most part, nothing too noticeable. Maxim returns and so does Will's smile.

"Hey, do you want to meet her?" Maxim asks, hand over the receiver of his phone. William shrugs and nodes despite all of him NOT wanting to meet this Jackie.   
"Sure, yeah. Come over" Maxim says into his phone. Hes happy. So happy. And while that makes William happy, it also hurts that he is not the cause. Maxim spends a little longer on the phone with her and William feels out of place here all of a sudden. He felt as if he was encroaching on something and all of him was yelling that itd just be best for his own survival if he left. Maxim dropped into the couch with a smile before pocketing his phone. 

"That was Jackie?" William inquires despite knowing and Maxim confirms it with a happy sigh punctuating his confirmation and driving a nail into Williams heart. 

William was quiet for most of their conversation as they waited and soon, this Jackie let herself in. Maxim greeted her with a tight and lingering hug as well as a kiss to the top of her head and William stood, mustering a smile for his friend and his special friend. 

"Will, this is Jackie. Jackie, Will." Maxim introduces them and William offers a hand. Jackie takes it and gives a firm shake before turning to Maxim and speaking quietly as she drops her stuff by the door, surprised when a bag was already there. William slips by, apologizing and picking up his bags. Maxim nods towards the back rooms and William quietly nods before making his way to the guest room where he stayed for a little while, not unpacking his things but releasing some of his feelings. 

The walls within the apartment were thin enough that William could hear their laughter. It killed him and he had to hide it, he knew, but not in here with the door closed. He didn't cry as that would be hard to cover up but he did let his face show just how badly it hurt that he had had hope of possibly someday Maxim having feelings for him in vain. He eventually had to return and he knew this so, for the sake of Maxim, he put on a happy face before slipping out of the guest room. Maxim and Jackie had settled on the couch, the two of them lounging, taking up the seat in its entirety. Something was on the television but the two were happily talking, ignoring whatever it was. 

William didn't know what to do but join them. He sits on the floor to maxims left, a decent distance from them as to allow them space. Whatever they'd chosen was in Russian and William did his best to focus on the screen instead of his friend. Eventually, Maxim and Jackie decided they were hungry and they ordered out. Cheese pizza for Maxim and Will, a pizza with meat on the other. William got the door when the delivery person arrived and brought out plates from the kitchen so his friend and his friends partner didnt need to get up. 

He sits again beside Maxim with a slice of pizza for himself on a paper towel. The evening continued pretty much as it was going before with Maxim and Jackie flirting and cuddling and William sitting beside them. Finally, William excused himself to the bathroom to shower before slipping into the guest room for the night. Atleast now he going get away from his bestfriend and his special friend. Or so he thought. A few sleepless hours later, some smells and sounds showed he couldnt actually escape them in the apartment so he got dressed and packed his things up and left for a hotel.

He was going to call in the morning but decided against it. He waited until noon before texting Maxim.

“Hey, how are you?” His text read. About fifteen minuets later he got a text back reading “lol why would you text me? Just come out here.” William sighs. He then gets another text “oh shit where are you?”  
Atleast maxim noticed.

“Hotel. You twos medicated adventure was hard to sleep through.” He texts back before adding on. “I didnt want to hinder further fun.”

“We’re going out today if you want to come” comes Maxims next text. “Meet us at the park” he instructs. William decides he’ll go and try to have fun as, perhaps they just really missed each other and today their affections would be lesser.

They weren’t. When William arrives at the park, Maxim and Jackie are still all over each other, fingers laced together, whispering things into each other's ears before laughing and sharing kisses. The idea that she gets public displays of affection hurt and sure William understood that the only reason he couldn’t was because men weren’t physically affectionate with one another here at all but it didn't take away the sting of passive rejection. William quickly regretted joining them as, while Maxim and Jackie walked side by side, hand in hand, William was forced to walk behind them or on the grass, effectively excluding him from any and all conversations.

When their public adventure ended, William felt alone as he watched his friend walk off to his apartment, not even glancing back to him to say good bye. While William knew the poor girl didn’t intend for William to feel alone, and while he knew blaming her for his feelings was ridiculous, she still was part of the cause of them. He didnt hate her nor dislike her but he envied her. Maxim was paying all his attention to Jackie. Maxim hadn’t called or texted William in such a long time. And now, Maxim didn’t even say good bye. 

William returned to the hotel to gather his things neatly in a heavy silence. With Jackie at Maxim’s, he was certain they'd continue to be all over one another and his own existence all but forgotten and hed much rather be at home and that happen than in the room having to listen to them be so affectionate. He craved even a sixth of the affection she was getting. In that moment, he longed to be her. But not she him.

He wanted to get to experience Maxim being so into him, he wants to speak to only him and shower him in sweet affections, holding hands as often as possible and exchanging the sweetest smiles. He did not want for her to have to be a third wheel nor for her to feel the pain of her crush ignoring her for someone else. He didn't want her to feel replaced or unwelcome nor unimportant. He didn't want her to feel expendable. He didn't want her to feel like he did.

He grabs the next flight home. This wasn’t like the movies. He wouldn’t hear his name shouted across the airport. He wouldn’t turn around to see Maxim running to stop him from getting onto the plane. He wouldn’t get to listen to a heartfelt monologue. . He would stare out the plane window and watch as St. Petersburg disappeared from sight, Maxim and Jackie with it. He would go home, not say a word to anyone, and not get any messages from the person he longed to hold close. He would wait in silence for any message from Maxim, growing excited even at accidental texts because, for one brief moment, he had a sliver of Maxim’s attention. 

He knew, eventually, were things to continue as they were, that he was going to lose Maxim and Maxim would, eventually, forget all about him. Part of him wished he'd confessed and Maxim reacted poorly as others had done and then he wouldn’t have to endure this pain of slow displacement. It'd be like a bandage being torn off. It would hurt briefly, it'd be sore for a bit, but would quickly heal. But now, he had to slowly suffer as his heart was slowly, ever so slowly, torn from his chest piece by piece, snip by snip. He felt as if he were dying.

**Author's Note:**

> I just really wanted to make myself sad.
> 
> Maxim belings to zhidd, Jackie belings to hercolossus, and william is mine. I really ship maxlyn super hard like let me have fun plz idc that this isnt reLly what would happen!


End file.
